(01) ; Nico

[new_beginnings]

Thing was, Grace hadn't even wanted to go out. No matter how much her friends (and her mother, bless her heart) tried to convince her that getting out and meeting new people was the best way to begin to recover from her recent divorce.

She wasn't ready to step into a new relationship and didn't know when or if she ever would be again. She certainly didn't want to fall into patterns of going home with strangers or bringing them to hers, either.

For a while, anyway, all she wanted to do was tuck herself away, lick her metaphorical wounds, and be a hermit. Unfortunately for her, they weren't exactly going to take no for an answer.

So … she went out. And while she was nice enough to some of the men that approached, for the most part, they leave her be when it was obvious that she wasn't there for a good time - or at least, not the type of good time that they were offering.

Her friends called her morose (okay, she had been acting like kind of a buzzkill) and trickled off one by one, eventually leaving her by her lonesome. Until Nico arrived. She could commiserate with his story - bunch of fun-loving friends having a bachelor party inexplicably left him behind, and laughed as she decided, okay, that was a story worth sharing a drink over.

One drink turned to more (she lost count, or never really tried to keep count, anyway), and one dance turned into … the mortifying ordeal of making out with a complete stranger in public, and by the time he'd panted against her kiss-swollen mouth asking if she wanted to go home with him …

Well. She did.

They hadn't gotten much sleep that night, and indeed, she looked back on it with a hazy fondness when she did let her thoughts drift his way. Before saying goodbye, they'd exchanged numbers with the promise to call or text or maybe even see each other soon, but he hadn't gotten in touch with her and Grace felt weird and anxious about reaching out first. Maybe he wouldn't even remember her, maybe it was ridiculous and kind of clingy in a bad way to feel any sort of attachment to the first man who had showed any real interest and affection to her in the aftermath of her bad marriage failing.

Grace didn't call or text, no matter how much her fingers itched to some nights. Truth was, she was just too cowardly, and didn't want to find out.

Life went on, and so did she. Grace got back into the swing of things at her new job, she started decorating the apartment to her taste, she even visited animal shelters as she thought about getting a cat to keep her company.

Her illness came on so gradually at first that she hardly even noticed, and when she did feel a little off, attributed it to the fact that it was winter, after all. But she had had her flu shot already and she convinced herself that it was nothing and she was going to be just fine.

Until she wasn't.

One home pregnancy test and one doctor visit later confirmed what she had begun to suspect - the first time in three years that Grace had had sex and she had gotten pregnant. She couldn't say whether she had forgotten her birth control (highly likely) or if it had simply failed, but either way, she was most definitely expecting.

Grace sequestered herself more than usual for the next small handful of days, trying to process the reality of the situation and to think through her options. The one thing she was most certain of was that she couldn't go through with anything without letting Nico know. It was the right thing to do.

She stared at her phone for what seemed like the fiftieth time in one day, and before she lost her courage completely, opened up her contacts to his name and number and pressed call.

I'm gonna be sick, she thought, screwing her eyes shut and holding her breath, waiting on pins and needles as the other line began to ring.

Comments

[mechanico]

When Nico had agreed to be the designated driver for a friend's bachelor party, he'd known it wasn't going to be as much fun for him as it was for everybody else, but it was a favour that nobody else wanted to do and, well, sometimes Nico was too nice for his own good.

What he hadn't known was that they'd get so drunk that when he come back from the bathroom, four bars in, it would be to find that the group had moved on without realising he wasn't with them. He'd checked the street in case they were still in view, but they were long gone and he had no idea where.

He'd gone back to the bar, ordered himself a coke and tried to get in touch with the group - and in the mean time he'd struck up conversation with the pretty woman sat next to him at the bar, who also seemed to be alone. It was rare for him to be so bold, but with the terrible night he was already having, even striking out wouldn't make it that much worse.

But he hadn't struck out, the conversation had gone well. And then he'd decided to hell with it and ordered them both a drink - good luck getting a ride home now boys, guess you're stuck with taxis - and the night had just got better from there.

It wasn't really his style, taking a girl home right away, but they just kind of clicked.
One night stands were definitely not his style, but when he'd gone back to the bar the next day to pick up his car he'd been a little out of it from the hangover and the post-sex high and he'd left his phone on the roof. Of course it fell off as soon as he started driving and shattered beyond all recognition. He managed to get his number on a new phone, but everything on the old one was irretrievable, depressingly.
He tried going back to the bar a couple of times but he knew it was futile, Grace was long gone.

So when he got a call from an unknown number he wasn't that surprised, and he definitely didn't expect it to be her.

"Hey, Nico here."

[new_beginnings]

Grace almost ended the call in the instant that she heard Nico's voice on the other end and all the memories from their one night together came rushing back. As it was, she couldn't say anything for a long moment, her breathing and the beatng of her heart suddenly erratic.

I'm not going to cry.

"Hey - ", she started, pausing long enough to clear her throat. Even so, as she continued, there was still a nervous edge to it. "Hey, Nico. It's Grace ... y'know, from the bar."

As if it wasn't bad enough that she was about to ruin his day completely with the news that oops, she was pregnant and he was the only person she had slept with in an embarrassingly long time and yes, she was entirely sure that he was the father, the fear that he wouldn't remember only made her anxiety spike all the higher.

"I, uh, I know it's been a while."

[mechanico]

When nothing happened for a moment, Nico wasn't sure if there was even anyone there, or if it was a prank call or something like it. He was about to say something himself when the voice on the other end finally spoke up. He didn't immediately recognise it.

And then she introduced herself and a grin broke out on his face. He had to hold himself back from some kind of exclamation of joy, reminding himself he should probably play it at least a little bit cool.

He picked up on her nerves, but put it down to the usual nerves of calling someone after a one night stand, or the delay in calling.

"Grace, yea, I remember," he reassured "It's good to hear from you..."

He wants to apologise for not calling himself, but he also didn't want to embarrass himself by admitting why.

[new_beginnings]

Grace only wished that her nerves were due to the far more preferable scenario of calling someone new - someone that she thought she had made a connection with that wasn't purely physical.

…

Although that part had been great, too.

Despite the fear gnawing at the pit of her belly - or maybe that was the sign warning her that she was going to need to throw up, again - she couldn't help the way her lips turned up at the corners into the hint of a smile. He remembered her … and didn't seem bothered to hear from her after weeks of radio silence.

"I would have called sooner, but I - ", here she paused. What? She had been scared because she'd never had a one night stand in her life and didn't know how she was supposed to behave in the wake of it? Ridiculous. "I wanted to call. I guess I just didn't. I don't know the proper protocol when it comes to these … things."

[mechanico]

_{[heads up will be slow this weekend because I'm at a larp. Also mobile email tagging so there'll probably be a random null at the end for a reason I haven't figured out yet]}

"I know what you mean," he agreed with a slight laugh, and honestly he was just glad she'd given an excuse he could get behind without having to explain his stupidity. It was kind of true, even if he hadn't lost his phone he might have worried about how long it was appropriate to wait without seeming desperate, and whether or not she was actually interested.

"Don't worry about it, you're calling now." He reassured cheerfully, and he was genuinely glad she had - maybe the chemistry was just imagined, or the alcohol, but he still kind of wondered if there really had been something there, it would be nice to get the chance to find out. "So what's up?" null

[new_beginnings]

[ooc: No worries! Have fun!]

Oh, God, he was laughing. Despite the nervous energy coursing through her veins, Grace couldn't deny that the sound of it - even over the phone line - was more than enough to coax a tiny fire to start in the pit of her belly. Grace wished that she was calling for a better reason - maybe to ask Nico out on a real date or ... just talk and get to know each other without alcohol being a factor.

She couldn't know how Nico was going to react to hearing the news, but she did feel like she was about to ruin his whole day. And he sounded so genuinely pleased to hear from her, which just made her anxiety all the worse.

But if she was going to do this, it was going to be now or never. Maybe it would've been better in person, but she didn't think she could possibly wait any longer, didn't think that she could stand seeing disappointment or worse in what she remembered were warm and kind eyes.

"I know this is probably not what you expected to hear today, but ... I - uh ... "

A breath.

"Nico, I'm pregnant. And, uh ... you're the only person I've slept with in three years, so ... "

[mechanico]

Well. That was... well it definitely wasn't something he'd expected to hear today, that much was true. The thought hadn't even crossed his mind when she'd called.

"I...huh..." he trails off dumbly. He didn't bother asking if she was sure, if there was definitely no chance it was anybody else, she wouldn't be calling if that were the case and it felt... cruel, almost, to try and dismiss the responsibility so quickly, to leave her in that situation by herself. He knows he could, if he wanted to, but he'd never been that kind of person and he isn't about to start now.

"Sorry, I just-" he starts and stops again, completely at a loss for words "I'm... that's... that's a lot to take in. Give me a second..."

He takes a deep breath, allows the news to absorb for a moment before nodding to himself.

"What do you want to do?" it's a difficult, delicate question to ask, but he also doesn't want to assume - the fact that she's telling him implies she's planning on keeping it, but he wants to make sure before he makes any further plans.

[new_beginnings]

On the plus side, Nico hadn't hung up immediately after hearing the news. Still, Grace's guilt and fear continued gnawing at her as she breathed shallowly as she waited for it all to sink in, waited for his reaction.

It felt cruel to tell him in this way, and Grace hated what a coward it made her, but … she didn't know Nico's last name or his address, and even if she did, she doubted that he'd be as welcoming as he'd been the night they met - the only night they had actually shared.

Grace knew that she didn't have to tell Nico anything, that she could easily have deleted his number and went on with her life as though nothing had ever happened, leaving him none the wiser, but she couldn't do that. She wasn't that kind of person.

She paused after Nico asked what she wanted to do. Truthfully, there was only one option that she could consider. She had always wanted to be a mother. Hell, her divorce had happened in part because her husband, who she always thought had shared her desires, had decided mid-way through that that was just not the lifestyle that he wanted. And the cheating - but that was neither here nor there.

"I - I want to keep it. And, Nico - I'm not telling you this because I expect anything out of you. I know we're perfect strangers and this is not exactly ideal for either of us. I don't even know if you want a kid. If you don't, that's fine, I won't ask you to be part of either of our lives. I - I can absolve you of parental responsibility and that's … that's fine."

She sighed heavily then, her voice teary and trembling when she finally found enough of it to continue.

"I just wanted to let you know. It was the right thing to do."

[mechanico]

Her hurried reassurance that she isn't expecting anything of him breaks his heart. He knows there's plenty of men out there who'd jump at the chance to wash their hands of the situation and it's pretty depressing that she might think he'd be one of them - not that he can blame her, after all they're practically strangers. The only things they know about each other are what they talked about that night, and Nico was drunk enough that he's forgotten half of it. Besides, after a certain point that evening they weren't talking very much at all - but that was what had gotten them into this mess in the first place.

"I'm not going to leave you to deal with this on your own," he says before he can even properly think it through, the instinct to do the right thing is just too strong even in the face of slightly overwhelming terror. He knows absolutely nothing about being a father, but he's not going to leave this kid, his kid, to grow up without one. "If that's what you want, that's okay, but something tells me that isn't what you want, and it isn't what I want either. I want to be a part of this child's life."

[new_beginnings]

For a long time, the only noises that came from Grace's end of the line were her trembling labored breaths as the tears that had been threatening to fall finally did, first tiny droplets and then streaming down her cheeks in a hot torrent.

Okay.

So he wasn't going to bolt. So he wanted a relationship with his child, despite the inauspicious circumstances that had led to his or her conception. That was a good thing. The last thing she wanted was for Nico to feel like she was trying to … trick him into a relationship, so that was off the table as far as she was concerned.

And that hurt, too, because even though they had only had that one night … and part of it had been alcohol-fueled, she had felt something there. Certainly, that was no longer true.

"This was not part of my plans, you know? To get divorced and immediately knocked up by the first man I sleep with afterwards? That's - that's insane."

The breath she huffed out would have been amused if there had been any joy at all in it. "I'm sorry, Nico. I wanted the first time I called you to be to … ask you out. Not this."

[mechanico]

Nico could tell she was crying but he was completely ill equipped to deal with it, so instead of saying something stupid and making it worse he just sort of... waited for her to speak again, feeling incredibly awkward about it. He kind of wished he could just hug her and make it all better, but even if he were there in person he probably would have just hovered, uncertain.

"Yea, I.. well obviously I didn't think this would happen either. That would be... a weird thing for me to.. plan. Uh.." not helping Nico, really not helping. "And I would have liked that. A date I mean. Uh.. we... well." he trails off. He wants to say they should still do it, but what if it all went horribly wrong and they fell out, what would happen to the child then? No, probably better to just.. enter into this as two people tied together by circumstance, as much as he wanted to do otherwise.

"We'll figure it out, right? We've got some time to work out how we're going to do things and what's going to happen, but.. I'll be there with you, every step of the way."

[new_beginnings]

Hormones were a bitch and a half to deal with, Grace was learning. Her moods already changed in the blink of an eye and she cried at the drop of a hat. So while her tears were real, they were only exacerbated by her emotions gone haywire.

She sniffled miserably and wiped ineffectually at her wet eyes with her free hand, her heart aching in an entirely new way to hear Nico respond that he would have liked to go on a date. But that opportunity had passed, hadn't it? And whatever could have been would now forever be unknown.

"I would have liked it, too", she murmured, grateful at the very least for his support. Now, the baby was always going to have to be the most important thing. "Thank you. I - uh ... maybe we could get together soon, discuss some things?"

[mechanico]

"Yea, yea that seems like a good plan." It seems better to focus on that than on any bitter-sweetness about what could have been, however tempted he is to throw caution to the wind and ask her out anyway. Maybe some day down the line they'll have figured each other out enough to know if they'd be good together, but for now they had to have different priorities.

They had a lot to talk about - it was kind of overwhelming to consider actually. Not only would they have to decide how they wanted to do, well, all of this and what both of their expectations were, but there were even more simple things that normally parents knew about each other before becoming parents. Nico didn't even know Grace's last name, where she lived, what she did... all the most basic details of a person you'd know if they were your friend, let alone the person you were about to be raising a child with. He didn't even know where they'd start.

"I can be free whenever you need, taking time off isn't a problem for me most days, so when would be best for you?" the least he could do is try and be as accommodating as possible.

[new_beginnings]

There was no real use in fixating on the what-ifs and what-could-have-beens, there was the here and now to focus on and the reality that they were going to be bringing a brand-new life into the world. That was going to have to be the most important thing from this point on.

Hopefully, they would figure everything else out in time, one step at a time, no expectations placed on each other. For now, it was promising enough that Nico was willing to be a father at all.

It was a daunting thought - that they had to start from the ground up when it came to getting to know each other from the beginning, but Grace wanted nothing more than to give their baby as stable a life as possible. It wouldn't do to go about this as complete strangers. Maybe that could be friends. Maybe that was all that she could ever hope for.

"I was going to say the same thing", she replied, chuckling softly. "You could come over now, if you want. Or - or whenever."

[mechanico]

There was a pause while Nico did a bit of mental rearranging before nodding to himself.
"I think I can make that work, let me just- one second."

There's the sound of movement that's obviously his phone being put down and then Nico's voice in the background asking somebody called Jake if he could hold down the fort for the afternoon because something important had come up. Jake's response isn't audible but it's clearly affirmative because moments later Nico is picking up the phone again.

"Now works for me. Where do you want me to come?" And oh but he has to desperately resist the urge to make a comment about how that got them into this situation. He almost facepalms himself for the phrasing.

[new_beginnings]

Grace took the few moments that Nico was away to try to calm her frazzled nerves. She could face this like the adult she was supposed to be. She had made her decisions and now there were consequences to face. The decision to keep the baby was hers and all she could really hope was that Nico didn't end up ... resenting her for it.

(If she wasn't hormone-ridden and the situation completely different, maybe Grace would've laughed at the joke. As it was now, she didn't know how she was going to feel from moment-to-moment, her moods changed that frequently.)

"I ... I'm too sick to go out, I think. If I text my address, do you think it'd be okay to come over here?"

sorry about the delay! I've been ill

[mechanico]

"Sure, whatever you need." He has a feeling he's going to be saying that a lot over the next few months, but that's the kind of person he's always been, putting other people before himself. Honestly, it's the least he can do when she's carrying his baby.

His baby. He kind of needs to keep mentally repeating it to help it sink in, because he's going to be a father and that's.. a lot.

"Talk to you soon, okay?" he says, already grabbing his jacket and keys and heading to the car.

As soon as they've said their goodbyes and he's got the address, he takes a moment to just sit and catch his breath, trying to process the enormity of it all. He can't wait around for long, though, and he only gives himself a couple of minutes before he's setting off to the address he's been given.

no worries! feel better soon!

[new_beginnings]

Grace doesn't want this to be completely about her. Nico and his feelings are important, too, and she's certain that even though he's being understanding of the situation, he's as overwhelmed as she is. All she can really hope for is that they'll be able to come to terms with this huge new change in both their lives, and -

And be able to co-parent their son or daughter successfully. Nothing was more important than that.

The little house isn't really messy, per se, but Grace hasn't yet unpacked all of her boxes after moving in, either. It's a little cluttered, but there's really nothing she can do to hide any of it before Nico's arrival.

To put her nerves at least a little at ease, she chooses instead to focus on making tea.

Re: no worries! feel better soon!

[mechanico]

He takes another moment to himself when he pulls up outside the address, realising he has no idea what to do when he sees her. Does he give her a hug? A kiss on the cheek? Their conversation made it pretty obvious they were not thinking about romance right now, but how much affection was appropriate for a near-stranger who was also the future mother of his child?

He still hasn't quite figured it out by the time he gets out of the car, but he isn't going to hang around waiting for too long or it'll start to look weird, so he forces himself up to the front door and knocks and hopes she answers quick enough that he doesn't get time to overthink any more than he already has.

[new_beginnings]

For her part, Grace doesn't really know, either. She's already accepted that this meeting is probably going to be the most awkward and uncomfortable thin she'll ever have to face … and that's saying something, given her divorce.

She can't begin to say how Nico might be feeling and she doesn't want to assume familiarity. Until they establish boundaries … keeping her distance is probably going to be her best option. The very last thing she wants is for Nico to feel like she is expecting anything from him …

Or, God forbid, trying to trap him in a relationship just for the sake of the baby.

She wants none of those things. She just wants this - whatever this is - to go as smoothly as possible.

Even though Grace is expecting it, the knock still startles her. She laughs softly, embarrassed, as she steps from the kitchen to the living room to open the door. She looks comfortable enough in an old t-shirt, heavy cardigan and leggings, her feet and face bare. Although, it was probably easy to see in the dark circles ringing her eyes that this early stage of pregnancy is not treating her very well.

"Hi - ", she finally offers, her voice a touch breathless as she steps back, allowing Nice entrance. "It's, uh … nice to see you again."

Grace mentally facepalms as she worries about saying the wrong thing or … fucking up this very tenuous thing that they've got between them.

"Ah … c - come in."

[mechanico]

This was going to be harder than he thought, because even dressed casually and obviously tired she's still beautiful, and being face to face with her just brings all his memories of that night flooding back. He forces a smile and nods, at least managing to keep his tone genuine as he agrees "Yea, it's good to see you again too."

He steps inside and pauses, glancing back so she can indicate where he ought to go. He can see there's a few boxes scattered around and contemplates asking if she's recently moved in, just for the sake of making polite conversation, but at the last moment decides it might be rude to draw attention to them, so instead he says "Nice place."

[new_beginnings]

How funny it would be to know how similarly they're feeling about the situation. The instant that Grace sets her eyes upon Nico, so many memories come rushing back and it's - fuck, it's overwhelming. God, she'd really liked him, and that was before they had even started drinking.

At least one thing hasn't changed, and that's the warmth in his dark eyes, even though they're now tinged with uncertainty.

He's here, and that's honestly more than Grace had hoped for.

She leads him through the small dining room into the main living space, where she's already set out two cups of tea, just in case he might want one as well. She gestures for him to sit on the couch or in the chair, so she can follow his lead.

"Thanks. Yeah - it'll probably be nicer once I get everything unpacked, but I … I haven't really felt up to it yet."

[mechanico]

He takes a seat in the chair and reaches for one of the cups of tea with a mumble of thanks, more so he had something to do with his hands rather than any kind of desperate desire for tea, though he does take a polite sip and nod along with what she's saying.

"I've heard nesting is actually a thing that women do when.. um, well, you know, so you'll probably feel up to it at some point... " he offers, then winces slightly "Sorry, uh, I just remember from when my sister-in-law was pregnant a couple of years back, I was trying to be helpful but it kinda sounded... sorry."

"So, um where should we start?"

[new_beginnings]

Peppermint is good to combat the nausea. That's not always necessarily true from Grace, but sometimes if she's lucky, it helps. She takes her mug in hand and closes her eyes, content enough just to sniff the fragrant steam, hoping that it, too, will help soothe her nerves.

But Nico's comment about 'nesting' pulled a soft chuckle past her lips, and she blinks her green eyes open just in time to catch his wince, and she wishes that she felt confident enough to touch his knee or the back of his hand and offer some reassurance that he hasn't offended her in the slightest.

"It's okay - ", she finally manages, nodding gently. "I - I'm not at that stage just yet, mostly just feel like death warmed over. I guess my little extra room isn't gonna end up being my office like I'd planned it to be."

And then Nico asks the question of the year, and Grace needs a moment - a long, quiet moment - to try to think it through properly.

"Well … how much of a role do you want to have in the baby's life?"

Not hers, because as far as Grace knows, that chance no longer exists.

[mechanico]

He relaxes somewhat when it's clear that she's not offended by his well-meaning but somewhat awkward rambling about what she was likely to go through, nodding sympathetically at both the symptoms she was experiencing and the realisation that her plans have all changed. That's one part of the process they're both going through at least.

The question gives him pause, but only so he can phrase his answer, because he already knows what it's going to be.

"As much as you'll let me," he says with a shrug "I mean, obviously we'll have to figure out the routine that's right for the kid and everything but... I want to be a.. a father. I want to be able to help you with all the difficult stuff, be there for the big milestones.. I know some of that isn't going to work out necessarily but I want as much of it as possible. Would you.. would you prefer something different?"